Fatshion: Garden Blooms

Skinned Knees Fatshion Garden Blooms

Hey friends! I wore this sometime back in April or May I think, back when it was still cool enough to wear leggings in Southern California! That time has since passed (although, I am wearing some today so what do I know). Also my hair is a different color now too – it’s more of a pinkish purple but still awesome. I’m also wearing a necklace I won from a giveaway on Liza at Six!

Skinned Knees Fatshion Garden Blooms

I got this bracelet back when Pose was still Little Black Bag. I have to admit that I’m not super fond of the switch – I think once they have a way to filter individual sellers from the Pose products, I will like it more. But until then, I’m just gonna give lots of love to my former purchases, including this amazing bee bracelet. I absolutely love it.Skinned Knees Fatshion Spring Blooms

I love my rings! So the flower ring I got at Nordstrom a LONG time ago. I don’t remember the brand and it was probably one of the few times I’ve bought anything from Nordstrom. I don’t know if you have noticed, but I am REALLY big on accessible clothing and fashion. That’s my thing. The other ring is a prototype I made for Magpies for Moons and I really like the way it came out.
Skinned Knees Fatshion Garden Blooms

I am obsessed with pale pink. Like OBSESSED. I never really considered myself a pink kind of girl – my favorite color is green and I like playing with my gender expression. I guess that sometimes means wearing lots of pink! Or shoes with little bows on them!

Skinned Knees Fatshion Garden Blooms

The whole look! I have worn short sleeves or sleeveless tops pretty much ever since. Not to toot my own horn, but I am fucking fierce with my arms exposed! I spent a long time hating them and only wearing 3/4 length sleeves or short (but not too short) sleeves so being comfortable? Awesome and worth the work I’ve done to put my head and heart in a better place.

Outfit Details:

Glasses: Coastal
Necklace: Elf925
Tunic: Mode Plus
Leggings: Walmart
Rings: Nordstrom, Magpies for Moons
Bracelet: stephan & co. via Pose
Shoes: H&M

Have you made peace with a part of your body? I want to hear about it! Let’s talk about our body love. ♥

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I Am Not Your Fat Friend

I Am Not Your Fat Friend Skinned Knees

This is an open letter to people I have/do care about throughout my life that have either disregarded me, not seen my sexuality, or not seen my value and worth because of my weight. Some of these people I am still friends, even best friends, with but this is my truth. These stories are not personal attacks but rather examples of how thin privilege operates on interpersonal levels between friends, lovers, and the people we interact with. I am not necessarily placing blame – I am telling part of my story.

  • I didn’t tell her how much I liked him so she could suddenly see him as a love object too and start to flirt with him. I didn’t tell her so she could be the one he spent nights talking to on the phone when that person was formerly me. I didn’t pour my heart out to her in that letter that I never gave to her because even at 12, I knew she wouldn’t understand what it was like to have grown up chubby and be one of TWO chubby girls in our class.
  • I didn’t cruise dudes with her at the mall and at amusement parks so boys would inevitably choose her until she settled on the “hotter” dude and passed the “less hot” dude down to me.  I didn’t cruise with her so she would amass multiple phone numbers and I would be lucky to get one, only to call them and have them ask about her.
  • I didn’t go shopping with her so she could drag me into all the “cool” stores, ask for my opinion as I waited outside the waiting room for her, and have her mom buy her clothes while looking at me with eyes that told me how sorry she felt for me because I couldn’t fit into any of the clothes in those stores.
  • I didn’t live with her so she could flirt with my male friends when I invited them over for social gatherings even though she knew I had a strained history with them. I didn’t live with her so she could get drunk and flirt with my boyfriends too and then just expect me to believe that “it was just how she was.”
  • I didn’t invest time into getting to know him so he could drop me out of nowhere when a “hot bad girl” started giving him attention. I didn’t then invest more time to listen to him tell me how crappy she was to him while ignoring the fact that as an adult, that was the first time someone turned me down for someone thinner than I was and how detrimental that was to my self-esteem at the time.
  • I didn’t sleep with him so he could hide me away while he publicly went out with thin women and only called me when he was lonely at night. I didn’t “date” him for four months to have him never take me out, never meet my friends or my family, or take part in my life only to find out that he was cheating on me left and right with younger “prettier” (thinner) girls.
  • I did not spend years being his friend with our weird sexual tension for him to talk about and emotionally process with me about all the girls he had crushes on while ignoring me. I didn’t imagine him going out of his way to ask me to hang out or to touch me or playfully wrestle with me only to turn me down when I tried to make any of that real.

I am not just your fat friend on the sidelines. I am a powerful, intelligent, creative, beautiful, and emotionally rich person.

But even if I wasn’t any of those things…

I am still not your fat friend.

If you related to this post in any way, I would love to hear about your experiences of being the “fat friend.” Our experiences are real and often go unnoticed – let’s change that! Feel free to comment, tweet or write your own post with your experiences and either link me or use the #notyourfatfriend hashtag. ♥ 

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The Magick of my Altar

Magick of My Altar I keep an altar in my room setup on top of my dresser. I’ve wanted one since I was young possibly because I grew up in a strictly Portuguese catholic home so ritual was a ingrained part my upbringing. I was always interested in other types of spirituality and explored it whenever I had a chance. This eventually evolved into my interest in altars. I would get bottles from the dollar store and fill them with oil, water, and food coloring and take scraps from my mom’s sewing room to assemble a table cloth on a corner table near my bed. This terrified her and she would order me to take it down. I don’t think she knew what I was doing, I don’t think I really did either. Magick of My Altar My interest in the occult developed along with philosophy and psychology in various degrees at points in my life which further solidified my need for an altar. I didn’t have a stable enough living space to set up what I consider a legitimate altar until I really settled in El Monte. I have moved around my whole life and feeling grounded isn’t an easy thing for me. I really needed it at the time and as I added more to it I felt more rooted psychologically and emotionally. Magick of My Altar Some people build altars in tribute to a specific deity. Mine is more of a collection of the things I resonate with. I have an egyptian bastet statue along with stones representing the chakras and symbols for each element. I also have framed tarot cards representing different aspects of myself and my life I want to develop. I keep incense and candles for my rituals. It is not only a representation of things I want to focus on and manifest in my life but also a ground and visual metaphor to the current of my psyche. Magick of My Altar As I have experienced life, everything is a symbol, an omen, something to connect us to a deeper truth in our world and in ourselves. It is only what we deem important that becomes important. When I feel out of sync I clean my altar piece by piece and reassemble it, I clean my room, I light incense and a corresponding candle to lift my mood. Doing this ritual aligns my head space to my emotions in a lucid and positive manner. I tap into my higher self. It’s something I maintain and in return it maintains me.

 

Thanks for reading about my altar. Do you have a ritual or a place in your home that is nurturing or has special to you? Comment below, we’d love to read about it. Tarot card of the Week will be return next week.

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Fatshion: Double DIY on a Dime

Fatshion Double DIY on a Dime

Hi friends! I know we took a mini hiatus last week. I needed some serious r&r time and Aria was consequently called upon for her extreme best friend duties. I’m slowly coming out of that funk though although I’m guessing it’s going to take some time.

But anyway! So this is what I wore to the Claremont Zine Fest back in April. The outfit really appeals to my more punk ethos and I love it a lot. The skirt is handmade and the t-shirt is totally customized but I’ll tell you more about that in a minute!

Fatshion Double DIY on a Dime

So this is the shirt. I know we’ve mentioned it before but Aria is a really good artist. Like crazy talented. She drew this moon design on this t-shirt for me for Christmas this year because she recognizes that I have such a strong connection to the moon. It’s amazing right?

There’s another story behind this shirt too. I don’t know if she knows this but it’s a total brodiac shirt. Back in the early 00′s when we first met, we were going to start a DIY t-shirt business called Wrinkle. We had tons of business meetings (which were mostly us just going to eat at a restaurant and talk about potential designs) but because of a lot of life factors, we never got around to actually printing any shirts. We did however buy a TON of them and recently unearthed them when she moved in with me. So that’s where this shirt is from.

Fatshion Double DIY on a Dime

And this skirt I made myself. I basically got a men’s dress shirt that had a pattern I liked (if you don’t know already, I love plaid and I wear blue basically all the time). I took off the sleeves, opened up the side seems of the body, and sewed a sleeve into each side. This gave me more of an a-line shape that I wanted and a really cool irregular hem. I am also a sucker for skirts that button up the front so I chose to use the front of the shirt as the front of the skirt as well. Finally, I hemmed the ends and the top and added some elastic into the waist. I think when I make another one, I will try it with an even hemline too. It was really fun and easy to make though! I made it in a couple of hours and it’s held up well.

Fatshion Double DIY on a Dime

So other than the moon and cats, I’m super into bugs. I know I say this every time I wear something with bugs or hell, if you look at the site, there are bees everywhere, but I REALLY love bugs. I got this ring from Ebay and I got Aria a matching one. You can see us both wearing them in this instagram picture. Cool right? The other ring is one I made for Magpies for Moons. So I guess this kind of makes this outfit a triple DIY instead of a just a double, right?

Fatshion Double DIY on a Dime

I couldn’t not wear these shoes with the outfit. They have little spikes on the heel and I’m not a big fan of animal print but I couldn’t pass these up. They are totally a neutral to me and I love them!

Outfit Details:

Glasses: Coastal
T-shirt: Customized by Aria
Skirt: DIY’d by me
Belt: Target
Rings: Ebay, Magpies for Moons
Shoes: Target

Have you ever made an item of clothing for you to wear yourself? Do you know of any cool DIY clothing tutorials to share with me? ♥

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Support Independent Press: Buy My Zines!

Riverside DIY Print Fest 2013 Jen Venegas

My first time reading my zines at last year’s IE Zine Quest

Ok, so it’s REALLY hard for me to promote myself but aside from blogging, one of my biggest passions is making zines. I’ve made zines since I was 18 and have found an amazing community of people making awesome zines both locally and far away. I’ve talked about how much the community means to me before but I cannot tell you how much it has helped me grow and given me a creative outlet to talk about stuff that I would not otherwise talk about. And see, now I’m talking about other people being awesome. But this is about me, right?

She's Not a Morning Person Zine

I never really posted about this because I never really posted about my previous job, but I lost it in January. I have honestly been so much happier and freer, mentally and emotionally. It’s not really a surprise that I was able to devote so much positive energy to blogging but I also made two zines in the last eight months too. This one I made right before that – it’s a zine about my cats (before I got Grayson – I need to make a little mini zine update!) and its one of my favorites that I’ve ever made. I put a lot of myself in each one of my zines but you know how much my babies mean to me.

She's Not a Morning Person Zine

This issue is also really important to me. I wrote a LOT of poetry last year – probably more than I’ve written in the combined years earlier. This zine is a testament to that. I never thought I’d put out a poetry zine but I really like how it turned out. Also, my partner, James did the covers based on two of the poems inside. The cover is based on one of my favorite poems I’ve ever written about a girl that I love so very much. He captured it perfectly.

She's Not a Morning Person Zine

This is my latest issue. I finished it just in time to debut it at the LA Zine Fest in February. It was SUPER personal for me to write because I talk about my shopping addiction and how it has affected my life. To say it’s raw, is an understatement. I was talking about it to my dearest friend, Brodie, about the situation and really, because of him and his encouragement to share my story, this zine exists.

She's Not a Morning Person Zine

I have four other issues in print, including issue 9 that I’ve talked about on the blog before. I just recently added them all to my Etsy shop where you can buy them individually or get the entire set above. I would love it if you wanted to support my work. I could use the money, but it’s also giving you access to a different side of me that you may not experience here on the blog.

Riverside DIY Print Fest

I’ll also be reading and selling zines this weekend at the Riverside DIY Print Fest. I talked about last year’s fest and its impact on me. I cannot wait for Caturday – I get to see some of my favorite people and share in the zine love. If you’re in the area or really love me, you should totally come out! If you can’t, consider buying my zines to help me pay for gas to get there. ;)

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