Travel “love” is a bug you can catch, like malaria. Only you will recover much quicker (hopefully). Aria & I were talking about the vortex of magic you enter when you travel to a new place (or in my case, experience new things in a place I’ve been to before). I’m going to call it the travel vortex.
You are in this place, out of your physical and environmental element and you are doing all of these new things. If you are at all social, you are also meeting new people.
You are vulnerable but it’s a happy and excited vulnerability. You are susceptible to travel “love.”
You meet someone, you click, you spend a few intense days or nights with that person and all of a sudden, you’re stuck. You’ve caught the bug. This is especially true if the person lives in the place you are travelling in, as opposed to another traveler. This resident knows where to go, what to do and what to see, giving you a false sense of familiarity and of being “right at home” with your own personal guide. It’s not your fault. You are vulnerable. You are susceptible. You’ve caught travel “love.”
You’re a romantic and this person says all the right things. You ignore the undercurrent between you that says this is not sustainable, this is just for right now because it feels good and you don’t want it to end. Instead, you find yourself making grandiose plans like relocating, living bi-coastal, or trying to “make it work.” It doesn’t matter that it normally takes you *time* to fall in love or that you are typically extremely pragmatic when it comes to matters of the heart. Because this isn’t really a matter of the heart. This is travel “love.”
Then you go home and feel this intense loss and emptiness. This is normal – intensity breeds intensity and boy has this experience been intense. It’s not your fault. It’s the travel vortex. You were susceptible. You caught a case of travel “love.” There are no OTC remedies. You just have to ride it out. Being back at home and settling back into your life helps. Processing what went wrong and how could you possibly have gotten caught up in all that helps too. But really, it’s not your fault. You’ll ride it out and you’ll be ok. You’ll be changed.
How do I know? Well, obviously this is exactly what happened to me during our trip to Portland. There were lots of other much more amazing things that happened during our trip, lots of magical things that I can only attribute to the travel vortex and that I am trying to sustain or find here at home, outside of the vortex. But even so, this trip will also be remembered for those moments of beauty that I shared with someone else. This person made me laugh and was super sweet to me, almost to a fault. I also felt like I was being seen, I felt free and like I could just be myself with this person. This is all part of the travel “love” bug. Because while those things may be true, what is also true is that
I can just be me when I need/want to and I don’t need someone else to bring it out of me.
One of my goals for 2015 has been to reconnect my outward self to my authentic self. Part of that is to do things like dancing and singing and just being much more open (this post is an example of that too). I was focusing so much on it that I think I manifested it in this person that I connected with. It was never about them, it was about me and tapping into who I really am – this is also part of the vortex. That’s not to say that I didn’t cry the entire way home and obsessively process the entire experience with Aria for the days following. I can’t write off that perhaps the reason communication with this person disintegrated was because of Mercury Retrograde. I could sit here and list off details and potential factors and whys and ugh, it just doesn’t matter. You know why?
Because travel “love” is a thing you can catch, like malaria. It’s bittersweet and it can hurt like hell.