Fatshion: Birthday Looks
Hey friends! I’m now officially 35! I spent my birthday half in the desert and half in the mountains (all in one day) thanks to a trip to Palm Springs that I mentioned in this post. My friend and I took this aerial tram in Palm Springs that took you up like 6000 ft or something and dropped you off at this national park on top of a mountain. The actual tram ride was INTENSE (the floor rotated, which was weird and disorienting). I’m glad I experienced it but I’m not sure I would do it again. The national park was beautiful though – definitely worth it.
This year has had some highs and some lows. I guess I’ll start out with the bad. I’ve been incredibly low-income this year which has taught me a lot about humility and community support. I started a Patreon and started making jewelry to try to support myself with mixed success. I also applied for disability for my mental health but got denied because of bureaucratic reasons. Supporting myself financially has been my biggest obstacle this year and I’m not sure I see an end to it but I’m still here so that matters.
On the positive side, I’ve grown so much emotionally. I have embraced my poly identity and met some amazing people and partners because of it (and also some that didn’t work out but that’s life). I’ve been doing well in school despite my mental illness and my past history of giving up when things got hard. I’ve been staying on top of therapy and my medications. I recently was prescribed a new medication that has been helping my energy levels and mood significantly, both of which has previously played a large role in my disability. I actually feel stable for the first time in years. I am more productive while still being gentle and kind to myself and allowing myself to rest when I need it. I try to show up for my community when I can, in whatever ways I can because community is important to me and I am grateful for the one I have – even you. I feel more at home in my body and am learning to embrace the “fuck flattering” mentality (even though I love flattering too!), especially here on Skinned Knees. It’s important to me to look like me – I am usually unpolished, fat, sometimes unflattering, and always unapologetic. I feel good about this. It’s who I am and I want you to see that.
I am not sure where this year will take me. But I do know that I’m going to keep working hard at school, for my community, and to take care of myself in the best ways I know how. I am excited about getting older and becoming more of who I am meant to be. My belief in the universe and the abundance that it brings is strong and guides me on a daily basis. I’m here to show up for life in all of its facets. Thank you for witnessing this journey with me.
Here’s to another year!