Fatshion: Little Black Dress
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Hi friends! How are you all doing this week? My life changed big time in the last few weeks but I’ll tell you more about that in a bit. I wore this outfit to the Claremont Zine Fest and then afterwards, to dinner with my dear femme friend Jo (who took these photos). The zine fest was a lot of fun. I really enjoy “smaller” zine fests because they feel more communal and you get more of a chance to connect with the people buying your zines. I sold a lot, saw some dear friends, made some new ones, and overall had a good time. Have you ever been to a zine fest before? Are you into zines?
Now let’s talk life for a moment. So I moved out of my trailer and back to my mom’s. I’m still going to the same school, working on my dream to work in nature but I had to leave my job at the farm because of my mental health. Living on my own taught me that I get lonely and depressed way more easily than I do when I live with other people. I would try to stay occupied but it just wasn’t working. Plus, my medications made it hard to wake up early in the morning and that was a requirement of my job on the farm. So I had to leave it and I applied for state disability. I am not sure that I’ll get it (so far it looks like no) but I’m managing in the meantime. Worst comes to worst (and this is really not all that bad), I’ll have to find a part-time job with flexible hours that doesn’t require mornings and works around my school schedule. Survival is weird and tough sometimes but I’m hanging in there.
Other big news is that I started dating again. As a fat queer poly femme, it can be hard to navigate the dating world but I’ve met some great people lately. I’m still technically single but I have two people who I’ve been dating that I truly adore for different reasons. Plus I’m talking to a few other people too. The struggle is finding people who are ok with me being poly, don’t have jealousy issues, and are ok with me being queer. Right now though, things are going well.
Speaking of being fat, I’ve also gained weight over the last few months because of my medication. Some of my clothes no longer fit, some fit better, and I’ve had to do some shopping with my limited income. Not that I don’t love shopping. 😉 Some days I find myself struggling with how I look and other days, I just embrace my body and move on with my day. I thought I might get triggered with eating disorder issues but so far, so good. No eating disorder behaviors to report which means my five and a half years of recovery are still going strong. I am still getting used to this version of my body but I’m into it too. It’s a process, friends.